A Letter to Myself in Times of Corona

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Dear One,

It's okay to feel. Allow yourself to feel it all. I know you're proud of yourself for keeping calm while everyone else is freaking out. For doing your weekly shop as usual while others are hoarding and panic buying — even though you're wearing a piece of baking paper as a face mask and it feels like you're living an apocalypse movie. For choosing to focus on love and how you can help, instead of fretting over statistics and feeding into the collective fear. For reassuring those who reach out that you're "fine" because you're safe at home and taking all necessary precautions. But maybe you're not fine. And that's okay. So let yourself feel it.

I know lots of things are coming up for you right now. Regrets over things you did, and especially over the things you didn't do. Stark reminders of the decisions you've made in your life and their consequences. People you should never have let go of, and others you've held onto for far too long (it's time to let them go). Remorse. For wasting time on jealousy and robbing yourself of your own life and joy. Guilt. A profound, painful, and ever-present feeling that suddenly bubbles to the surface and makes itself intensely known. And grief — for what was, what could have been, and what will never be. And as anxiety swirls around you like the mistral, it whips up old thought patterns that lay forgotten in the dust of your subconscious mind. The self-destructive, self-loathing thoughts that seem almost to take over your personality. So painful, yet so familiar and comfortable, like a pair of old stilettos. You slip them on and hobble around your house, hoping they might make you feel better, but instead, they cripple you and leave you in a crumpled heap on the floor. All of it is okay. But even as you allow yourself to feel, don't get caught up in your stories about your feelings. Don't follow the gnomes down the garden path of "what if...?" Accept everything that is, no matter how painful it may be. Sit with the pain. Recognise it. Thank it, for the pain of loss is the price we pay for the beauty of a life that has been lived. Then release it. Let it move through you and out. It might be through song and dance; it might be through wailing and tears. Just let it move. And as it moves out, bless it, for everything is energy, and yours will transform and transmute, and become something else for someone else. We are all connected. You are the ocean in a drop. Bless yourself, for you are an expression of Divinity. And when you bless yourself, you bless the whole Universe. Stay connected to your heart. It will show you what to do next. With Infinite Love, Victoria

P.S. Need some extra support?

I'm offering energy healing + 30 minutes of intuitive coaching for €44.

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